From the book jacket:All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.
Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin
The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.
But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.
5 comments:
Wow! This sounds like a fantastic read! (I probably should have started it 22 years ago, though.)
Well, it was interesting, and I read it quickly.
But I am surprised how proud of her actions the author is. She belittles her girls, pushes them too much, threatens them, and screams at them. She is just plain abusive, yet in chapter after chapter, she recounts her interactions with them as if they are a recipe for success. Yes, her girls went on to play their instruments (piano and violin) at near-prodigy levels, but at what cost? I kept wondering what her friends and acquaintances will think when they read this book. I would be embarrassed and ashamed to share any one of the fights she retells, let alone a whole book of them. And she is unapologetic about her opinions on weak "Western parents." Chua believes the Chinese mother is the strongest mother and will make her child the best she can be. She thinks that self-esteem is given too much weight in America.
Give me peace in the family and mentally healthy members over accomplishments any day.
It's interesting that she has that attitude about Western parents. I was quite annoyed one day when an Indian woman came into the bookstore looking for presents for her grandchildren, and informed me that she didn't want anything typical because Indian parents are better than American ones and interact and are involved with their children more--she apparently felt that American parents weren't enough like what this Chinese woman criticizes them for being.
Ok, I don't know when I'm going to get around to reading this book (if ever), so I am wondering about the part referenced on the cover where the mother is "humbled by a 13-year-old." At what point does this occur, if most of the book recounts the mother verbally giving her daughters a dressing-down? Is there ever an admission that she (the mother) went too far, or is she so successful that she ends up humbled by her one of her daughters' accomplishments by the time this daughter turns 13? And although she admits being humbled on the cover of her book, does she ever admit it to her daughter?
At the very end of the book, she backs off and tells her younger daughter that she may quit the violin if she wants. I don't think she learned her lesson or changed so much as her daughter was now a teen who could dig in and fight back harder. It seems Chua finally was worn down by the constant fight and gave up. She's still proud of her earlier actions. I think that if her second child had been more submissive, the mother wouldn't have changed at all.
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